Thursday, October 25, 2007
I try to steer away from the blues, but today I was unsuccessful. Not understanding what was happening to me, I made a double batch of my mother’s rice pudding (the original comfort food) and did some house work.
Bored, I flipped through the channels and found my all time favorite movie to weep too. It rained for four straight hours today. Downpours.
"Terms of Endearment" was just starting so I grabbed the bowl, a spoon, a roll of paper towels and sat my ass on the corner of the bed and watched the whole thing.
I cried. I cried for everything that had been. I cried for everything that could be. I cried for every loss I’d suffered and every loss I would continue to suffer. I cried for broken hearts. I cried for chances missed.
I sat there with rice pudding on my face and wept for everything in the world.
It was good therapy.
Tonight, I realized the moon is closer to the Earth than it will be in ages.
Maybe that’s why I was so weepy?
I have a tummy ache. That’s the rice pudding.
I have puffy eyes. That is not the rice pudding.