Holding Spencer

Woke up this morning

deeply in pain

figuring I'd fallen

last night some time in

my perambulisms

I said nothing

fixed breakfast for the family

lifting frying pans

cleaning pots

concerned I was dying

until

I mentioned this evening

to my husband

that my ribs hurt so badly

like I'd been punched

"What have I done?"

"You held Spencer yesterday

for over an hour."

he replied simply

He must have been paying attention.

It's been years since I've

had a 'Babe in Arms'.

I would carry my own babies

for hours, relentlessly

but my body has grown so old,

it turns on me at times

...but holding Spencer,

for an hour while his mother

Simply ate her meal, feeling

him strain against me

caring for that tiny body

already, at four and a half months,

recovering from two

Open heart surgeries

Hold Spencer, while he wanted

his mother

and watching as he learned to

follow my voice with his

eyes, grasping at toys

passing gas;

and holding Spencer,

Just holding him

I fell in love.

I wonder if my body

was out of practice or

simply absorbing

some of his pain?