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A Change of Life

2010-02-07T18:56:00.002-05:00

A Change of Life

A great many things have happened to me since September and the death of a Grand Old Uncle seemed to culminate into the mix.

Life can throw you a curve or two (or three) and you sit somewhere and roll your eyes and think to yourself, who in the world would find ANYTHING you have to say interesting? One has to ponder these things, before putting themselves out on the limb.

Back to basics. Okay, Uncle George died. I miss him every day. As much as I complained about him, I miss him more. He was a grand old man, head of the family and we all feel like our rudder is missing. But he's gone and we have to carry on.

Carrying on. I was a "dyed in the wool Democrat", as are most of the people of this fair state of West Virginia. I followed the Democratic line loyally until the early 80's. When Ronald Regan made promises he actually kept regarding the economy, I registered confidently as a Republican and have been one until this past week.

"I have not left the Republican Party, the Republican Party has left me."

Dan and I have both left our party and registered Independent. I almost feel comfortable in my own skin. When in college and asked to join this sorority or the other, I always proudly proclaimed I was a GDI! (God Damned Independant!) Why not now?

Why NOT now. The Democrats and the Republicans have agenda's that are so far left of the Conservative view, they seem to be insane! They are both too far left for my comfort and I have to admit, I don't even recognize them anymore. There is infighting, lawbreaking! There are moves made that even "I" don't recognize to be legal!

And this Obama "character". Good Lord! How did we let him in office? I agree with Sara Palin. "How's that whole Change-y, Hope-y thing working out for ya?" Love it. I need someone in office that isn't listening to the special interest groups and someone who is listening, as MY REPRESENTATIVE, to me.

I have written to my Congressmen/Women, and my Senators over issues regarding coal, global warming, taxes ...etc, etc. Every Damn One of Them (forever now known as EDOT) has sent back a form letter essentially saying, "Dear you. Pat on the head but you don't have a dog in this hunt and I know what you want."

I want to tell you this, EDOT. You do not know what I want, but I assure you. I know how to get what I want and I'm not afraid to try.

I am urging ALL West Virginians to join the Independent Party. Get out of that Democratic rubble and choose to vote as you see fit in the next election.

We can do this.

Stiff Wind.

2009-09-28T20:35:00.002-04:00

All afternoon there was a stiff wind passing through that blew the leaves and branches off our trees and made me duck when it became too brisk.

I knew it had happend. I knew in my heart that Uncle George had passed and his massive spirit was seeking home...and saying hello on his way through to Wheeling West Virginia.

I got the call this afternoon...knowing already... he'd died at 8:15 this morning.

There are some forces of nature you have to respect and realize. Great Uncle George is one of them. He was massive, decided his own fate and realized that what came after him was extremely special.

We all are. Special I mean. However, I feel...just simply ... that all of the grownups have completely left the room.

I loved him.

I'll Be Strong

2009-08-01T19:37:00.003-04:00

I'm listening to Nils Lofgren and a song he wrote "I'll Be Strong".

Hard comfort tonight.

Dan's Great Grand Uncle at 99 next month is in a rehad center because the hospital can't do anything more for him. He's hoping we could come down, but husband has a big business deal next week and I can't get to him. Perhaps the following week, if we're not too late.

Rebecca's nephew is still in hospital. After contracting a virus at 18 months and having numerous brain surgeries, they have replace the front skull plate but he's running a low grade temperature and was supposed to be released from hospital four days ago. They are keeping him. MRI's are fine.

God.

Life for me has been "stop and go" for the last few months. I would love to write something fantastical in prose or poetry, but my heart just isn't into it.

I think I would love to marry some little pill that would make everything better, but this is life...MY LIFE...and I will deal with it as I see fit.

I wonder if anyone will even read this.

Going Home Again (You Can't)

2009-03-21T20:13:00.006-04:00

They say you can't go home again

it feels so trite until you try it

reaching down so deep it

cuts your very soul

We came home again last weekend

back to a fishbowl of places we don't remember

faces we barely recognize

holed up in a hotel in our own

hometown, the entire family of seven with spouses...

wishing.

Then a trip to the farm

our father's birthplace -

I remember from babyhood.

No one else did.

It seems we all have memories

seperate in age and growth

but feel the need to get back

to where we have those

first memories.

Mine are the oldest.

I felt discounted. Mine didn't matter.

I remember the smoke house, now gone.

I remember and regailed the youngest grandgirls

of the black snake skin hung over the cellar door...

the cows in the barn-the chickens in the coop where colored

Easter chicks found their home....later their demise for Sunday

Supper.

Had to catch myself when I became so overwhelmed with

memories I wept. Not a good thing on a happy occasion, but I'd not been back since my Grandfather died, and had only visited

in my dreams.

Look, there is the barn. I remember rowboating as a girl, not much

bigger than you, and catching fish in this river!

I remember corn as tall as grandpa! I remember tomatoes that filled

both hands. I remember running until your feet hit the chestnut hulls and

squeeling in pain...in pain!

I remember chestnut trees. I wonder if anyone else does.

No. You can't go home again. It's never the same.

Even if the Chestnut tree trunk is there, and the house has been re-roofed, and the windows have been changed.

The boxwoods are gone. The smoke house has been destroyed.

...Yet, as I looked out over the hill at the barn, I could drop to my knees and visualize it as a five year old and remember.

The New Year

2009-01-22T19:53:00.003-05:00

I look around this place I love and think how I have neglected it for so long. Touching the table next to me, my finger draws a line in the dust.

Sad, really that dust must cloud my mind. I guess I could excuse myself with preoccupation. That is not an excuse. I have neglected my blog. I have neglected my thoughts. I’m looking at the cobwebs on the ceiling and thinking I must do something. … ANYTHING !

Forgive me if you are a regular reader. It’s been a tough couple of months. Allow me to appeal to you with this:

Steal gray skies and another threat of snow
Worries gather in my soul
And allow no entry of sunshine

I must fight it
Knowing that it could defeat me
I search for the sun

Only to look up
And see nothing but gray
I have no fight left

Praying the crocus do….

Hands of Time

2008-12-27T21:34:00.002-05:00

I look at my hands these days and they remind me of my mother. Where in the world did these wrinkles come from? What have I done?

I tend them properly, lotions and creams. I polish my nails with a block made of silicone and diamonds. Yet...

when I open my hands why do the remind me of my mothers?

I wonder......

Trick and Treat!

2008-10-30T08:34:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Brick Wall

2008-10-07T19:41:00.005-04:00

I'm beating my head against a brick wall tonight. Please don't mind me while I vent a bit. I sometimes have to actually remind myself to breath.

Dan had a doctors appointment today to discuss his latest blood work-up for his cholesterol, high blood pressure etc.

The readings were not good. He's off the Cholesterol medication because it hurt him, however his readings said that his Cholesterol has doubled in six months.

We are eating fatty fish three times a week. I cook and serve only olive oil. We eat high fiber grain bread. I've reduced salt. (His sodium levels are down) I've taken great pains to do portions and try to moderate what he eats. He exercises. He walks (runs) the damn dog.

What the hell am I doing wrong? I know he is genetically pre-dispositioned to high cholesterol, but I've read everything I could get my hands on and was doing it all right!

Tomorrow we start Pomagranate Juice, Grapefruit Juice and Cinnamon. The alternative is making him take pharmacuticals that will make him feel worse than better.

Blllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Tonight, I could just look like Gene Wilder when he was thrown off the Silverstreak one time too many.

"sonofabitch!!!!!!!"" Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

First Fire

2008-10-01T20:21:00.003-04:00

I had not noticed the change
of color or the waning mix
of smells like used pencils
or colors the scent of library books

I have been preoccupied with the
state of the nation
interest rates
the stock market
Government has stolen
the pure delight of autumn
from me

I had not noticed until
it came upon me today
full fledged fury of
wind, rain and dropping
temperatures…until
I was forced to
Cheat and light a wax log
For heat

It served it’s purpose.

Everything seemed mellower
..but still it felt hurried.

Crisis

2008-09-24T20:02:00.001-04:00

I was one of the lucky ones. I knew my grandparents into my teens and had lots of time to talk to them.

The economic picture in America is really rough right now. I’m not sure we will be able to continue as we are. Will we be able to follow the American dream and pay off our house and retire? Will we be able to live long enough to see our grandchildren born? Who knows.

But I am one of the lucky ones. I got to speak to my grandparents about living without. Something the kids of this day only hear about second hand. I have the straight scoop.

1. If it’s broken get it fixed. If you don’t mind doing it yourself, borrow a book from the library and just simply fix it. Don’t even think about buying a new one. Fix it and be grateful.

2. Store enough food to last you at least six months. If you don’t have a freezer, learn to can. Visit your local super store and stock up on canned meat, vegetables and fruits. Get emergency supplies like bottled water, bread, staples like flour – sugar – etc.

3. Don’t let your gas tank go below 1/8th of a tank. Even for short runs, make sure that gas tank is topped off.

4. If the sun is shining and it’s chilly, close the windows and open the drapes. Use the sun to heat your home. If it’s cold, make sure you have an alternative heat supply. Cut down trees if you have a fireplace. Get blankets. Wear more clothes.

5. Stock up on your vices. If you smoke, buy cartons. If you drink, buy gallons. Store things in a cool dark place. Learn to make your own.

6. If you are on prescription drugs make sure you have enough to get you through a crisis. Fill prescriptions on a regular basis. Keep a certain place in your home for a first aid kit. Stock it with pain killers, aspirin, antibiotics and Band-Aids.

7. Don’t waste anything. If you fix a meal and have leftovers, freeze them for a hasty lunch.

8. Make sure you have backup batteries for everything you own - Radios, flashlights, alarm clocks. You will need emergency candles and fire starters for the fireplace if you have one. I make my own firestarters from cardboard egg cartons, lint from the dryer and old candles. Handy. A wind up emergency radio will keep you posted in A.M. to anything unusual.

9. Make sure you have at least 20 gallons of water per person for drinking and cooking. Buy containers that are food grade and keep them in a cool dry place. Make sure the back of your toilet is always full.

10. Keep reading material always at hand. Board games as well will help to keep the mind active during long black outs.

11. Don’t forget your pets. Stock up on Dog, Cat or whatever food you might need in an emergency. They have to eat too.

Thank God I had Grandparents who talked to me. Thank God for the parents that taught me.

I’m going to settle in now and listen to “W” talk about how the foxes are in the hen house.

Please let us all pray for a better tomorrow.

Book Review - The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

2008-09-23T19:43:00.001-04:00

I never do this. I don’t recommend a book to anyone. My tastes might offend someone, so I don’t recommend books, movies or recipes.

I will make exception in this case.

If you do not read another book in your lifetime, please pick up a copy of The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski.

This is where I have been for the last little while. Reading.

I was forbidden from reading at the dinner table, as my tears put a damper on polite conversation.

I was forbidden to read in the same room as my husband because my inadvertent exclamations made him uneasy.

I had to put the book down, several times, to walk away (as it were) …but it continued to call me. “Read the next page. Read the next chapter!”

When I finally exhaled at the last sentence of the final chapter, I felt as if I’d lost a friend. I wanted terribly to open it again and start rereading. (The library called and there is a long list of people that want to read it so reluctantly, I have to give it up.)

Anyone who reads this book will remember the dog they had as a child. They will look at their own dog and realize that the secret life and thoughts there are precious.

This is not just a book about dogs.

It’s about love and trust. Not simply the love and trust of an animal, although the dogs thoughts are so compelling one finds themselves in tears at the pure love. It’s about trust of family, trust of love and trust of one’s own instincts.

This book doesn’t need to strain to stand alongside Steinbeck. There are references to Rudyard Kipling, but also a general feeling of Hamlet by William Shakespeare. Toss in some Steven King or Dean Koontz and you have a book worthy of becoming the next Modern Classic.

Go to the library and get on the list. (I’m sure there is one.) Then read it. Then if you know a boy buy it for him for Christmas.

To think this is David Wroblewski’s only published piece and it took him ten years to write! This author MUST be praised. I only hope he doesn’t go into a “puppy mill” phase, forced to produce. (Pun intended)

Before you go to the library, down your dog – look into his or her eyes – praise him or her and give them a hug.

I'll Go Feed the Birds

2008-09-08T19:38:00.003-04:00

All I want is a little peace,
not the struggle of good and bad,
work and rest
good and evil

But peace to allow myself
to stand quietly
for a while and remark
on how kind things can be…

A sense of complete
and utter balance
in a world that
has none

Take her for instance
the look on her face
of complete compliance
as she offers a sense of

Utter zen
Things do not have to
be this hard …nor this
complicated

I think I’ll go feed the birds.

Ghost Story

2008-07-31T19:42:00.000-04:00

Nothing much has changed
since her fall from grace
a few glasses of drink
and he says "I’m going to bed."
She echoes, "I’ll race you!"
Next thing she knows
she’s hit her head and
fallen
fallen
fallen
through the banister
to the sofa below
cracking her back
and injuring her shoulder
and arm
and ribs

as she bites his finger
while he tries to clear
airways and start C.P.R.
He - screaming her name all
the while

She knows she has bought tomatoes –
they sit on the railings on the deck
turning blood red –She picked corn
all on her own and found it odd the
farmer wouldn’t take her cash -
and cleaned bathrooms and
vacuumed –even considered
painting the hall

if she could find the energy again
but her arm hurts and her ribs and
that nasty shoulder that doesn’t want
to heal

She watched him tonight, sharpening her
knives, the ones she used the most
Walking the dog that doesn’t seem to want
anything more from her – but wants to
whine more than usual

as she turns on the water to rinse a pan- and he sharply
turns it off
then up to bed he goes as she sets the timer on the
dishwasher and adds to the load

Curling into him, speaking over the noise of the television she asks
"Did I die in the fall?"

He doesn’t hear her. Just –
Curls into his pillow and cries.

The Invisible Woman

2008-07-15T14:59:00.001-04:00

Call me the invisible woman
raised by a mother in
the late 50’s or early 60’s
helping out around the house
while she worked – often late
to help put food on the
table
and
clothes (the right ones)
on our backs

Attending high school
in the 70’s
where young women were
encouraged to “HAVE IT ALL!”
career and family
it could be ours
and I bought it
hook
line
and anchor

I attended college -
was going to be
the next Barbara Walters
or better yet
some hot new reporter
cracking the big story
getting kudos from
my peers
maybe a big city
or a big fish
in
a
small pond

Not that I regret it -
not one sweet
moment of
my decision
to marry and
have a family
Never has there
been one regret -
my children are my
life and it has
been a good one-
a very
good
one

But late at
night when the
dog is snoring
louder than the
husband
and my eyes open
involuntarily -
I watch the invisible woman
listen to the wolves named
Incompetence and
Fear

Marco! Polo!

2008-06-12T21:26:00.002-04:00

I hear the children in their pool next door singing "Marco! Pollo!"

I never learned that game. I was thrust into the world of laps and times and competitive swimming early in my years. I never figured out the rules.

Tonight, my front door neighbor proudly showed off her one year old son. She is so endeared of his accomplishments. He sees my dog in the front yard and says "Daw! Daw! Daw!" He is crawling all over the sidewalk.

It made me chew the inside of my mouth. He should be saying Mamma. Dadaaa. Daog, Cat. House. Water. Eat. Pee. Poop. Hot……etc.

They are young and happy with his progress.

I chew the inside of my mouth because at his age, my children were running; not walking and forming complete sentences. I am not delusional in thinking and remembering this.

In the fourth grade, my oldest read "The Lord of the Flies" and understood it and wrote a complete narrative explaining it.

There is a fine line - One that intercedes and one that leaves things alone and allows them to become comfortable.

I think tomorrow he learns to say Mama.

But not in an interfering way.

It all starts with play.

Marco! Pollo!

Interlude

2008-06-01T19:44:00.005-04:00

Life has a way of knocking one back a few pegs

and setting up the blocks again

to tease you

taunt you

aggrivate you

Like a black dog living

in the alley way

none of this has to be true

Snarling black dog in the

alley way

You have to believe...

it's not you

Or your kid

~Your one true love~

Hitting the bricks alone

Your only heart aches

Trying to make things better for him

knowing that your efforts are dead

clearly hoping for his best interests

Knowing he has to face this alone

Alone: alone is a hard word

It's a difficult word

is a hard word for a parent to hear

Black dog sitting in the alley way

someone wants to come home

snarling comes from independence

I think someone needs a good bone

Seventeen Year Locust

2008-05-29T14:12:00.003-04:00

Picture Courtesy of Rick Lee: Charleston WV

The seventeen year locusts have attacked. Hundreds of thousands of them are whirring through my woods. The sound is deafening - like a million tiny buzz saws moving through the trees.

These nasty bugs erupt from the ground every seventeen years, shed their exoskeleton and fly into the tree tops. Here they nibble on the leaves, breed, drop their larvae to the ground where they burrow into the ground. The larvae feed on the tender roots of the trees and seventeen years later, we have it all again.

It's both facinating and gross at the same time!

P.S. Today is my birthday.

God Help Me One Day.

2008-05-17T19:37:00.005-04:00

I was on the hunt for flowers. Just not any flowers, but something special for my window box outside my kitchen window.

Walking in front of the local Kroger store, I noticed a woman in her 80’s pushing a grocery cart.
I smiled at her. She smiled at me.

I moved on to check out the flowers on the "front porch" finding that I didn’t want to buy a complete flat of flowers. "Do they not understand that one doesn’t want a flat? Can’t I just buy a few ?"

Walking back to the car, the little old woman was suddenly in front of me.

"I lost my car."

"You what?"

"I lost my car. I can’t find my car."

"Who drove you here?"

"No one, I drove myself," she said in broken English.

"What kind of car do you have?"

"It’s a Cadillac CTS." She replied."

"Okay, Do you have a keybob with an alarm? "

She fished in her pocket and brought out the keybob with about seven functions on it.

"I tell you what. Why don’t you walk out there and push the horn buttons and aim it in the direction of your car. The alarm will sound and then you can find your car. "

I walked away for a few minutes to find my husband. I was sure he would be exiting the store with our purchases at this time. I met him at the door.

Just as I was trying to explain to him my strange experience, I heard a car alarm go off.

"I’ll be back in a minute."

Three isles over, she stood in bewilderment, trying to follow the sound of the alarm, across a very busy parking lot, her groceries still sitting on the curb.

"Do you hear it?" I asked her as I approached her. "It’s right over there." By now I was pointing to the noise.

"I thank you so much, my dear."

I just have to smile.

God help me. One day.

Primary

2008-05-13T18:24:00.000-04:00

I voted today.

Just before I walked into the high school to cast my ballet, I said a prayer of thanks for my mother, my grandmothers and my great-grandmothers. I thanked them for the honor and the privilege – no, the inalienable right to vote in a national election.

This evening, watching the news, I saw a young black mother leading her daughter by the hand to the election polls.

I was happy for her.

I hope she remembered to say a prayer as well.

What Do You Get?

2008-05-07T19:38:00.003-04:00

What do you get the woman that has had everything?

I've looked at cards. I've searched the web. I've opted for anything worthy of my seventy-four year old Mother and I for the life of me am stuck!

I got her rose bushes last year, but she had nowhere to plant them. In years past I have purchased for her things she might enjoy, but she never mentioned them after.

What do I do? What do I do?

I adore my Mom. If I could give her the world, I would. I would lasso the moon. I would capture the sun's light. I would turn back time!

Mother's Day is such a cruel trick on children who have lived long enough to be their mother's age.

Darwinism

2008-05-01T19:46:00.003-04:00

My father will kill me.

Husband and I were talking on the deck tonight, between martinis, about religion and faith. I was raised a Methodist, as was he. The only problem is, we've lost our Methodist faith.

I explained to him that as long as my trees come back every year and fill my soul with green, I believe that God has smiled on me through nature. He agreed.

We discussed "The Money Changers" in the Bible. How religion has become so tainted with people that expect to be paid for doing the work of the Holy.

Yet the trees, the land, the Earth doesn't expect payment, only respect.

This is not to say that the Ten Commandments can not be honored. They are probably the first instructions for a civilized life. Then add to that the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you..

Does that not bring us back to the land and our brethren?

It all comes back to respect.

I have raised two males to respect us and the land and each other. Should I have given them a sense of the cosmic? Should I have lied to them?

The world and the word is awsome, and should be studied. However, in this life to be sensible and calm and appreciate what is given is most appropriate.

As I said, my father is going to kill me for this. I'm sorry Daddy. These are my beliefs. Blame it on the Darwin Youth Minister you had fired when I was fifteen.

Rescuing Lilac

2008-04-29T19:36:00.002-04:00

There I am

in my slippers

sweater covering my ears

rescuing my lilacs

to cut them to death - bring them

in.

The fragrance is

is beyond heady

some of the blossoms lost

but rescuing my lilacs

before the last frost

helped me remember

a good lot.

The crabbapple will suffer

lost one this last year

the peepers have stopped

calling

I fear

But rescuing my lilacs

I know, it's not right

to allow one's self to

consider the plight

Of one luscious blossom

and bring it inside

But rescuing the Lilac

Gives me such pride.

My mother did the same

twenty-nine years ago

while I sat on a stoop

in my bath robe and moped.

My wedding day

she did the same

she rescued the lilacs

I do to this day.

Meme. ME! ME!

2008-04-24T19:48:00.002-04:00

I've been tagged again by my dear friend Minx. (Has she nothing better to do that interrupt my slumbers?)

I was snoring and drooling and then got hit with this. First on her list no less, just to see if I'm awake. Thanks for the wake up call, Kate.

Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. Open to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

I've been reading a lot, trying to stoke the fire that has been long since become a smolder. Here is the book.

Bloodroot: An Appalachian Woman's Anthology:

I remember not being amazed that the only thing they would buy in town was coffee and sugar, that everything else needed was either made or grown or bartered for. I rememeber that marveling at how cruel the cycles of mother earth could be, but that it just wasI remember how we always planted a seedling for anything important in the family: births, deaths and weddings.

Thank you to Minx: http://innerminx.blogspot.com/

I "TAG"

Jack: http://cappuccinoheights.blogspot.com/

Anna: http://anna-pendragon.blogspot.com/

Sammy: http://hudson-chronicles.blogspot.com/

Soulless: http://unguarded--utterance.blogspot.com/

Seamus: http://shamelesswords.blogspot.com/

Holding Spencer

2008-04-13T19:37:00.002-04:00

Woke up this morning

deeply in pain

figuring I'd fallen

last night some time in

my perambulisms

I said nothing

fixed breakfast for the family

lifting frying pans

cleaning pots

concerned I was dying

until

I mentioned this evening

to my husband

that my ribs hurt so badly

like I'd been punched

"What have I done?"

"You held Spencer yesterday

for over an hour."

he replied simply

He must have been paying attention.

It's been years since I've

had a 'Babe in Arms'.

I would carry my own babies

for hours, relentlessly

but my body has grown so old,

it turns on me at times

...but holding Spencer,

for an hour while his mother

Simply ate her meal, feeling

him strain against me

caring for that tiny body

already, at four and a half months,

recovering from two

Open heart surgeries

Hold Spencer, while he wanted

his mother

and watching as he learned to

follow my voice with his

eyes, grasping at toys

passing gas;

and holding Spencer,

Just holding him

I fell in love.

I wonder if my body

was out of practice or

simply absorbing

some of his pain?

An Interesting Experience

2008-03-26T22:14:00.000-04:00

The strangest thing happened this afternoon. I was on the deck sitting in the sun reading a book, when the dog went completely bolistic. I got up to pull her from the front windows when the door bell rang and then the front door opened. I thought it was an intruder and I yelled, "NO!". The door slammed shut. I got the dog under control and stepped out.

One lone little boy about the age of 4 1/2 or 5 standing there with my doggy door bell in his hand. I asked if I could have it back and he handed it to me, then opened his arms and wrapped them around my legs and said "Hiiiiiiii!"

"Where do you live?"

he repeated, "Where do you live?"

What is your name?

"What is your name?"

I took him to the end of the sidewalk, knowing there were new neighbors at the end of the street. "You want to show me where you live?"

"You want to show me where you live?" he repeated.

We started walking. I didn't know what to do. We came to the first house with a playground in the front yard. "Is this where you live?"

"PBS Kids rule!" he started singing.

We walked, hand in hand up to the front door where I rang the bell. I could see people there but they didn't answer the door. "Is this where you live?"

"There is a playground! Is this where you live?"
"What is your name?"

He repeated. "What is your name?"

We continued up the culdisac hand in hand. I would ask a question and he would repeat it. I could hear something in the woods and as I got closer I could hear a frantic screams of a woman calling "Antonio! Come home Antonio! I love you!"

As we got closer to the house I started calling, "I found your little boy!"

Closer to her house she heard me. She came out of the woods weeping hysterically. Calling "Antonio! Antonio!"

I think she hugged me three times. I told her to calm down, her boy was home and if I could ever help again, please call my cell.

My heart wrenched for her. I can't imagine having a child missing.

She told me, "He is Autistic and has moderate RA."

I just know I found a new friend....and I don't mind running a sweep the next time he decides to go on the lamb.

He was an Angel.

I called Ian's Jennifer later to explain his symptoms. She said it was Echo Autism. But can I tell you the pure joy of holding his hand and talking to him? Like a visit from God himself.

Don't Expect Any Easter Eggs.

2008-03-20T19:15:00.000-04:00

I'm Sad, Dave

2008-03-20T13:41:00.000-04:00

Eventide

2008-03-11T19:35:00.003-04:00

The doe nibble on things
offered once essential to their
existance

Now they nosh

We sigh in relief
knowing they have made it through
one more winter

Apple block is in order
must be planted beneath
the oak so the mothers-to-be
can pass the nutrients on
to the babies

Eventide. The sun hasn't even set
and I'm ready for bed

Thank you Mamma

2008-03-07T18:37:00.003-05:00

Mamma sent the robins home
Fat and happy here to roam
Content to pick up worms and yet
I bet they remember her.

Mamma sent the robins home
They flock in my front yard but none
Will tell me of my own dear mom
And how she cared for them

Mamma sent the robins home
A bit too early, it might seem
The storm is coming and it might
Cause them all to flitter home

She said she fed them
Kept them warmth
Gave them to me
Safe from harm

Mamma sent the robins home
Its spring.
Thank you Birmingham.

Sadie Hawkin's Day

2008-02-29T18:54:00.003-05:00

I wanted to say "Happy Sadie Hawkin's Day!"

....but the internet says I can't.

My Inaugural Address

2008-02-22T20:23:00.002-05:00

(Prompted by my writing group to write my own in inaugral address: Here it is.

My Inaugural Address

Members of Congress, Mr. Chief Justice, President and Vice-President and my fellow citizens of this great nation:

First of all, I want to thank you for this glorious day! Who knew that Global Warming could be so marvelous! It’s January and feels like May already! Whooo hooo! Let’s give it up for Global Warming!

Second, I would like to invite you all back to the Rose Garden for cookies and punch. I made the cookies myself. Secret Service would not allow me to make the punch. They said something about alcohol content and Security issues. Go figure!

As I face this great and wonderful nation, I have to tell you, I don’t have a clue what to say. I can’t even find my way to the ladies room in that big White House. I had to pee in a few potted plants out of necessity. Really, I hope I didn’t kill them.

I would like to address three things to you on this grand day.

First: National security. I will approach Congress and ask them to build a fence, not only at our Mexican boarder, but also around the entire perimeter of the United States. Everyone that pays taxes and has a passport will receive a key in lieu of a tax return.

Second: That money that President Bush sent you in way of a buy off. Your taxes, I’m sorry to say, will go up that exact amount next year. Call it a loan. I hope you spent it wisely!

Third: Iraq. I’m pulling all of our troops out. These people have been killing each other for centuries. They are third world nations. Hell, if Jesus couldn’t help them figure it out, then I’m sure as hope not going to interfere. Let them go ahead. We’ll just sit back and watch.

Finally, I want to say to you, we are one great nation. I promise a chicken in every pot this week. (Kroger has whole birds at $0.49 a lb. Next week it’ll be turkey!)

Everybody go the Rose Garden!!!

Race ya!

2008-02-21T12:50:00.002-05:00

How evil are you?

At Any Given Moment

2008-02-20T19:56:00.003-05:00

At any given moment
I can see life as it is
just beyond my reach
outside my kitchen window

At any given moment
the world becomes
a place of great discontent
and harmony again

At any given moment
I'll see the doe feed
or the fox hunt
or the wolf howl

and realize
that at any given moment
I am one
with nature

Anyway The Wind Blows

2008-02-12T20:01:00.000-05:00

He saw what it did to her. Even before the words were out of his mouth, he saw the doubt. The way the shadows played around her eyes as she tried to smile.

“I have to go out of town. It’s only one night. I will begin packing right after supper.”

“Alright.” She replied and then that look.

He watched as she placed the meal on perfectly formed plates in perfectly formed amounts. She chattered through dinner about nothing. Then, she swept everything up and down the disposal; it all seemed so simple for her.

He was complete complication. The woman would be waiting; the room already reserved. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

After dinner, he packed his bags and stacked them in the foyer. Yawning, he said he might turn in early.

“Would you like some company?” she asked.

“I’m kind of beat.” He replied.

The shadows returned under her eyes. Maybe it was a simple loss of light. Maybe it was a loss of trust.

“Anyway the wind blows.” He heard her say under her breath.

Anyway the wind blows.

Sunday Afternoon: Part 2

2008-02-08T18:57:00.000-05:00

Sunday Comics

Swimming up
up, up, up from
the bottom of the ocean

Smelling pot roast
and burning potatoes...
green beans

Swimming up
from the recliner
drooling a bit

…Prince Valiant stuck
on my forearm

Sunday Afternoon

2008-02-07T14:22:00.001-05:00

The sky, on Sunday afternoons in June, has a unique quality like no other afternoon in the year. They paused for a moment to appreciate it; each knowing what the other was thinking -neither spoke.

They were slow and lazy as they walked toward the house, the grass tickling their bare feet. The sun was warm on their shining heads. Their bare arms already nut brown. After church, they had shed themselves of highly polished shoes and sanctimonious attitudes and grabbed their fishing poles.

There was pure happiness in sitting by the stream. The fish were safe as they chattered and laughed. They didn’t care. It wasn’t really about the fishing; it was about being together. It was about being outside. It was about not having chores. Their eyes sparkled as they planned their summer. There was a fort to build in the woods. They planned to sleep under the stars as often as Mom would allow.

They followed their noses home. The aroma of fried chicken and the sound of soft laughter coaxed them from the yard. There would be an early supper and then the rest of this long, soft afternoon before it faded into the violet quiet of Sunday evening.

Letter To My Thirteen Year Old Self

2008-01-29T20:13:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged here: http://innerminx.blogspot.com/

So I have decided to write a letter to my Thirteen Year Old Self. How theraputic this is !!!

Dear Me,

You have to remember something very important the rest of your life. You are not alone and you don’t have to solve everything yourself.

That said, he was the first love. Yes it was romantic with all of that hair and fringe. Yes he smelled of Teaberry gum and you seemed to be able to contact him with your brain. It will end in tears and a lot of lost sleep. You will get over it - eventually.

Don’t listen to those suffragists that suggest to you that you need to have a career as a woman of the 70’s. They were following the criteria for the decade. You won’t be another Barbara Walters – no matter how hard you study. You won’t even be a Bo Derek. In fact, your only designation in life will be intelligence enough to raise two sons and continue to try to grow as a human.

Your kids will give you fits. You will literally drag one back from the brink of insanity. You will watch the youngest grow into a mature and confidant, reliable young man.

You will cry like you have never cried over Teaberry , fringe, and hair. You will dig and claw and pray and convince yourself you are not worthy all over again.

But you are worthy. You will develop a strength that most will not have tested.

Remember this, Dear Me, as you climb the crab apple tree in the back yard and devour every book in sight, your life will be resplendent with things you have to pick and choose. You are so young.

You are so young. You must remember, you are not alone – you don’t have to solve everything yourself.

….and your siblings will be fine without the mothering you give.
….and your Mother will do it just fine.

...and your children will survive after you.

Snow Day

2008-01-24T19:19:00.000-05:00

I have been snowed in all day.

Sure, at ten o’clock this morning, I laughed at the forecast. The sun was shining. Husband didn’t have the gut check as he slid down the hill. Life was good.

At ten thirty all hell broke loose.

It started as a fine snow shower. Nice enough – kind of nice. I love a bit of weather.
At one o’clock, I ran out to take the trash cans back down the hill. I nearly busted my ass on the sidewalk. It had completely iced over.

At four thirty I decided to go ahead and feed the deer. I wish I’d bundled up. The temperature was 12 degrees and the wind was howling.

The deer were early. It’s going to be a bad night.

Husband called to say he was on his way North for an early business meeting. "The roads are dry and clear." Says he.

"Good luck getting home." I say.

I’ve been following the weather here:
http://www.weather.com/weather/map/interactive/25545?from=36hr_maps&zoom=8&interactiveMapLayer=radar&animation=true

It’s completely accurate. I know. I’ve been looking out the window all day.

If you would like to turn away from the window, check out this website:

http://weather.com

You'll find you there.

Writing Exercise: Part Two

2008-01-22T20:05:00.000-05:00

Please feel free to add on to it.

The howling wind in the front yard blew the trees double. Hearing it made them both uneasy. The nervous dog paced the length of the living room and back, whining uncomfortably.

He was sitting in front of the fireplace, keeping watch on any stray sparks as she finished the dinner dishes. The fire was sputtering, sometimes blazing, sometimes blowing down to a hot amber glow. He lifted his right hand as he continued to read the paper, “Come here, pup.” The dog worried over and placed her head on his hand, then whine softly and walk to the foyer again.

“I think we’re in for a rough night,” she said as she carried her book to the hearth and nestled down next to the fire. “There you are on your winter throne.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “I’ve always said that if the end of the world came, they would find your ass right here, in front of the fireplace.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to the book, glancing up slyly at his good-natured face. Eventually the dog came to lie at her feet. Curling her butt as closely as she could to the woman’s feet, she finally rested her head between her paws and began to snooze.

Sometimes, a false sense of security is better than nothing.

Knit One, Pearl Two.

2008-01-14T19:45:00.000-05:00

:: My friend Wayne is doing character impressions from a writing exercise he took in a writing class.. I decided to follow his lead. It feels really good. ::

Here: http://wayneshannon.blogspot.com/ I believe I am going to try this exercise again for the next few weeks. See if it improves my writing perspective.

*********************

She sits in her rocker and time spans in the number of "Knit one, pearl two" as her hands work away the hours.

They are fragile hands, the skin parchment, blue veins appear as if to burst through. But it is her smile you recognize when watching her rock back and forth, back and forth.

She is happy with the results of her existence. She has stories to tell! They come in spurts, uncluttered by editors or sequence. They are the threads of her life, told in good humor and slipping dentures.

Silver headed she dips to the rhythm of action, fingers moving as she speaks.

Who knows what she is weaving. Who cares? It’s the telling of the tale that matters.

Don't Cry For Us, Mrs. Clinton

2008-01-12T15:38:00.001-05:00

To be sung to the tune, “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”.

Don’t cry for us Mrs. Clinton
Your tears have truly been wasted
We saw you well up
We saw you crying
It looked contrived
And we’re not buying

Don’t cry for us Mrs. Clinton
Because the media is having a field day
We need a leader
We need a strong one
Not someone blubbering
When things have gone wrong

Do cry for you Mrs. Clinton
You haven’t made a case for women
You really screwed up
You had a break down
We have no choice
There’ll be no show down.

There’ll be no show down…

Old Spice

2008-01-03T20:17:00.001-05:00

There is a scent I can not forget. A scent of being cuddled under my grandfathers arm, marveling at his mahogany tan and the strength of his muscles.

Tonight, my husband asked me if I thought he should be wearing a “scent” besides soap and water.

I hesitated.

I have always been drawn to “Old Spice” but am sure that it would be incestuous to request that he wear this.

It is the first manly scent of my childhood… Where I found first I was attracted to aromas.

I think I will allow him to continue to wear soap and water.

Nothing more could measure up.

Homicide in Ona

2008-01-02T18:44:00.000-05:00

It’s been nice, actually
except for the part
where I don’t make French Toast
like his mom’s

Or the socks and the
laundry
or the fact that I am the one
that needs to keep the fire

Fired

And letting the dog out
in frigid temps
is too much
for him

(Except for his trips to
the other side of the lot
to feed the doe)

What with ESPN and
The Science channel.

He’s going to have to
go back to work soon
or there is going to
be a news headline.

Homicide in Ona.

Turn the Page 2008

2008-01-01T19:56:00.000-05:00

Take a deep breath
and relax today
the holidays
have been tucked away
in a box

The gifts have been
absorbed into the house
like an ameba
working themselves
into your daily life

Just watch the fire
make a few resolutions
and wait for the snowstorm
to hit the house
and leave it impossible to
leave it tomorrow

Got nowhere you have to be
anyway

Feel the joy
and remember it
and make it part
of every breath you take
for the next three hundred and sixty
four
days ahead.

So take a deep breath
start that journal
change your attitude
Live IT!

...And to all a Good Night.

2007-12-25T21:27:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

2007-12-23T21:41:00.001-05:00

And in the passing of each year
the ages seem to haunt us
but for the ornaments we cheer
the memories they brought us

Remember Christmases of old
remember what they taught us
Ring in the new, ring out the old
see what they all have brought us

With each and every glimmering light
life seems to pass and taunt us
and yet we remember the passing years
not caring what they cost us

Raise a glass, lift a cheer
feel the excitment of a child
fill other loves with glee
and remember for a while

That Christmas comes but once a year
and as we decorate the tree
the memories are there to share
especially for you and me

She May Be A Very Good Girl

2007-12-21T15:17:00.000-05:00

............But she ain't a lady.

Merry Christmas and Snappy New Year!

2007-12-15T18:23:00.000-05:00

I have been buying and wrapping gifts for two weeks. They are all over the house. In the master bedroom there are two baskets filled with odds and ends for the kids in place of stockings.

Snappy has watched all of these events and for the most part has ignored the proceedings.

…Until Dan brought home the Christmas tree…

She was excited by the smell of the real tree. She didn’t actually pay too much attention to it, but after I strung the lights on it she seemed to remember!

I would find her with gifts from the master bedroom in the middle of the floor, near the tree, carefully tearing of the wrappings. She wasn’t chewing things up, as is her normal activity, just tearing off the wrappings.

It’s Christmas time and the dog remembers it!

8 X 8

2007-12-10T21:50:00.000-05:00

8 X 8

Because I read Minx’s blog I feel duty bound to also do a Meme (which I’ve been told is a Me Me) kind of thing.

So here goes.

Eight things …

....that I am passionate about

My Children
My animals (Be they wild or domesticated)
My freedom
My writing
Not going back to work
Saving money (See above)
Trees (Yes. I’m a treehugger.)
Knocking down those damn ugly oil/gas rigs that have suddenly popped up on my hillside. (Looking for blasting caps)

8 thangs that changed my life

The death of my grandmother, who used to tell me stories.
The death of my grandfather, who was my best friend.
My sons illness, which almost destroyed my family
My sons recovery, which showed me the power of love and family
My writing, which will never go anywhere, but it’s nice to know it can be done.
The loss of my best friend, my mother-in-law. I had to grow up, finally.
Getting my Dog, Snappy.
Remembering to cover the losses with gains.

8 thangs that attract me to other people

Words
Soul
Spirit
Love of life
Light
Thought
Kindness
Trust

8 thangs that I learned last year

I am not as strong as I thought I was
Jumping into something and willing myself to do it, doesn’t mean success.
Mean people are just that, and you cannot trust them.
Taking some time off, no matter the financial sacrifice, is sometimes the best
Beating yourself up over spilt milk is often the worst thing to do
Looking at your families eyes and realizing they love you anyway is priceless
I can FINALLY make great sugar cookies.
If I could, I would take culinary classes and become a chef.

...8 books I have read recently

Wild Mustard by Justine Felix Rutherford
The Lady and Sons, Too, by Paula Deen
American Heritage Cookbook,
Wine, Food & Friends by Karen MacNeil
The Feist of the Seven Fishes by Robert Tinnell
Foxfire One, Two and Three
Green Mansions by W. H. Hudson
Complete Guide to Gardening by Who the hell cares, I’m working with clay here.

...8 songs/bands I listen to again and again

Coldwater Creek
Ian Hunter
Ian Hunter
Ian Hunter
Ian Hunter
The Stones
Radio Head
..Anything by Roger Watters. Radio Kaos. Especially.
Roger Watters Dark Side of the Moon.

8 thangs I often say:

Shit.
Oh My God.
Snappy come here.
Snappy stop biting me .
Snappy come here now.
No, Snappy!
No snappy no!
Snappy come back.
You get back here you idiot dog… Right now…. I fucking mean it!!!!

...8 things to do before I die

I want to learn to fly a plane
I want a degree
I want to feel my cheek brush my grandbabies
I want to see my boys succeed.
I want to succeed myself.
When I die, I want to feel the rush of family, not with tears, but with love.
Look into someone’s eyes and tell them quite freely, I love you.
I don’t have 8.
I wish I did.

Global Warming

2007-12-06T20:44:00.000-05:00

Global warming, "my ass"
It used to snow buckets
in February
a month of gauging supplies.
bringing them up the hill
on sleds

while we shook our
heads at the carnage of cars
slid off the hill
It’s not even Christmas

December no less
and the snow has come
and forced us to make
sure the larder is
full.

I hate winter.

I hear however, about this
whole global warming thing
that this isn’t happening.

Not yet.
Not here.

Gun Season

2007-11-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

I was quite happy last night to sit by a roaring fire and listen to the football game. Quite happy – until the dog started having a fit on the deck. Thinking she was barking at a neighbor again, I stepped out.

There, below the deck, was a young buck in rut chasing three doe. Their movements were odd, running up the hill but turning in a panic and running back down to the bottom. The odd thing was, the dog wasn’t paying them any attention…she was looking at the road.

Parked along side my property was a truck. The longer I looked at it, the angrier I became. I heard the tailgate drop, although I could not see the owner. Then I heard, quite distinctly, the rifle being cocked.

"Do you need something?" I yelled.

The tailgate closed and the driver headed for the driver’s side door.

"I said do you need something?"

"No ma’am. I’m fine."
"What were you doing?"

"I was just lookin’ at them deer."

"I heard your gun cock. You weren’t thinking of shooting them were you?"

"No. I was just looking at them through my site."

"Those deer are on MY property."

"I ain’t that stupid! I was just lookin’. "

"You best get movin’ along before I call the law." (I can talk hick with the best of them when I’m riled.)

He got in his truck and drove slowly away.

I ask you. When was the last time you backed a man with a gun down? In your slippers?

The buck and the doe went their merry way. Hopefully to produce more spring fawn.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-20T13:57:00.000-05:00

Freedom From Want
by Norman Rockwell

Before I get busy in the kitchen for the new few days, I want to wish you Americans a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, we'll stuff ourselves on turkey and the works, but every table with say a word of thanks before hand.

...and we have a lot to be grateful for!

Gas

2007-11-15T09:46:00.000-05:00

Brutish beasts
the greed of man
they come
working twenty-four/seven
raping the land

The heavy trucks
equipment – a rig
while we worry about
property values

the noise

Rattles my foundation
ruins my sleep

Helpless I buy
area rugs
hoping somehow to
deaden the sound
of the earth
weeping

Geeee Thanks!

2007-11-13T13:58:00.000-05:00

I received an invitation today to join the AARP. (American Association of Retired People). What a kick in the teeth.

Illness Strikes

2007-11-01T20:14:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday afternoon, husband came down with a fever. He went promptly to bed missing my amazing Sunday supper and visiting with the kids.

Monday he wasn’t any better.

This is Thursday. He felt a tad better today but went to the doctor who deemed it necessary to draw blood and run a blood scan.

This evening his temperature is up to 101.7. This is a man that can't stand to be in one place at any particular time. He has to move. He has to be up and running things.

I thought it was just a virus, perhaps a nasty one.

Now I’m getting scared.

Forgive me for not writing poetry or stories.

Life sometimes gets in the way.

Lunacy

2007-10-25T20:02:00.000-04:00

I try to steer away from the blues, but today I was unsuccessful. Not understanding what was happening to me, I made a double batch of my mother’s rice pudding (the original comfort food) and did some house work.

Bored, I flipped through the channels and found my all time favorite movie to weep too. It rained for four straight hours today. Downpours.

"Terms of Endearment" was just starting so I grabbed the bowl, a spoon, a roll of paper towels and sat my ass on the corner of the bed and watched the whole thing.

I cried. I cried for everything that had been. I cried for everything that could be. I cried for every loss I’d suffered and every loss I would continue to suffer. I cried for broken hearts. I cried for chances missed.

I sat there with rice pudding on my face and wept for everything in the world.

It was good therapy.

Tonight, I realized the moon is closer to the Earth than it will be in ages.

Maybe that’s why I was so weepy?

I have a tummy ache. That’s the rice pudding.

I have puffy eyes. That is not the rice pudding.

Phinal Phoctober Shot

2007-10-22T20:15:00.000-04:00

The hills are alive with the sound of
everything but music this time of year;
the sound of squirrels barking in the trees

The sound of doe and buck bartering for ground
and mates

The sound of dry leaves as they scrape across the
decks.
Rain on the roof.

My phinal Phoctober shot.
I love the color of the mauve and the yellow
mixed with the green and browns.
The rose and the yellow.

It's my favorite time of year.

Praying Mantis

2007-10-20T19:59:00.001-04:00

You turn your head
and tilt your chin
and I’m a thousand times
bigger than you…
You suck me in

Your eyes rotate
your hands turn to prayer
you could probably sedate me
with a wondering stare
You suck me in

You are beautiful
You are!
elongated and stern
yet eager to set your
hands in a curve

You suck me in.

Feeling Photoctoborish

2007-10-20T19:47:00.001-04:00

This started as a project here.
http://moontopples.blogspot.com/

Then was continued here.
http://innerminx.blogspot.com/

The leaves were lovely today. I decided to participate. (Feeling a bit Photoctoberish, as it were.)

Robbed!!!!!!

2007-10-15T20:40:00.000-04:00

(Homeland Security Be damned)

At six o'clock this morning I thought I heard my neighbor across the street leaving for work. Then I heard my screen door close. I thought it was my imagination.

The dog was resting quietly between us. She did not bark.

At eight o'clock husband went to his car to head out for work. There was much yelling.

His car, my car and our truck had all been broken into .

His car was locked. However, the work things he'd packed into it the night before are now gone. My car was unlocked. They took all of my speakers. There was nothing in the truck.

Missing:

From his car:

His wallet:
$120. in cash
all of our credit cards
all of his company credit cards.

Brief case:
Daytimer with $600 mad money
back up credit cards
Check book with Home Equity Line of credit

1. Fluke a-3 Multimeter Model # 83V worth $329.
2. Fluke Ame Probe Model #334 worth $ 153
3 Raytek Infarred temperature measurment Gun Model MTS $90.00
5 Fuji Digital Camera with memory card $300.00

Gold clubs
One driver (Venture) worth 35.00
One three wood, Golden Bear: $55.00

Tools: Miscellaneous: Worth about $100.00

Out of our Subaru Forrester:

1 Box Speaker $50.00
1 Speaker out of the side door $15.00

Face value: about $800. in Savings bonds the grandparents gave to Max for various Holidays.

All of our personal information was stolen.

Now I'm pissed. That dog couldn't bark at 6:00 in the morning when all of stuff was being taken, but she can bark at the police when they arrive?

Why was our house the only one targeted for this?

If this dog gets a package of Milkbones in the mail in the near future, I'm having her put down. Period. She was in on it.

Ten Things I Hate About Being an Empty Nester

2007-10-11T20:12:00.000-04:00

1. I cook a meal for two. There are always leftovers.

2. Cleaning the bathrooms on Wednesday.

3. Nobody says, "Hey, can you help me with..."

4. Cleaning the house and leaving it. It's still clean when I return.

5. No alarm clocks.

6 No meetings at school.

7. No parent teacher meetings.

8. No "Night. Sleep well."

9. Did I mention leftovers?

10. Waiting for the phone to ring.

Peace and Light

2007-10-09T19:59:00.001-04:00

Someone keeps saying to me peace and light. Here it is. My youngest Niece. Bella.

By The Book

2007-10-09T19:38:00.000-04:00

By the Book

Scarlett has tagged me for a Meme. http://wanderlustscarlett.blogspot.com/

I have a question. Where did the word Meme originate?

1. Total number of books owned – Well, in my small office I have four bookshelves. They are mostly stuffed with books. Some are classics. Some are new. I am currently counting. One…two…three…four…. Around 300 wonderful words of wisdom.

2. Last book bought - James Joyce Ulysses.

3. Last book read - Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst. I’m on a journey. The book made a lot of sense to me.

4. Five books which mean a lot to you –

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
The Source by James Mitchner
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein.
The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe by Douglas Adams

I could add others. The entire series of the Left Behind by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. Or On Writing by Steven King, or Green Mansions by W. H. Hudson. Then there are all of the Deadly Sins by Lawrence Saunders or Lou Reed by Lou Reed. There is EVERYTHING by J. R. R. Tolkien. Then Agatha Christy. I must have at least eight Bibles. The book of Ruth comes to mind. I adore the feel and the smell of a book. How it keeps one company at the end of a long day.

There are also the endless animal books beginning but not ending with North American Wildlife and Amphibians and Reptiles in West Virginia. Also the complete series of the Wildfire by Eliot Wigginton.

It saddens me that in this day and age, Children are not encouraged to read. I say, they are much poorer for the lack of that experience.

Right then. Tagging all that read this. You’re it.

Quiet Time.

2007-10-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

I am strangely quiet these days.

Some "things" have happened to disrupt my usually boring life and I can't write about them.

I'm fine. Just nursing my wounds and trying to figure out the best plan.

Tonight is the last night of summer. Odd it's hung on through the first week of October. It was 94 here today. We'll get rain tomorrow then continued cooling through the end of the week with high temps of about 64.

We'll get rain tomorrow. I might go stand in it for a while. It might help rinse off some of this doom and gloom. But probably not.

I hate hearts breaking when I can't mend them. I hate not being able to fill a need except to listen inertly and try to give comfort. I hate looking at the wall of my office with pictures from a book "Green Mansions" by W. H. Hudson, knowing how lovingly someone put them together for me and framed them for me.

I hate losing someone I love with all of my heart. I hate helping to pick up the pieces again afterwards.

I can't type anymore tonight. The tears won't allow me to see the screen.

I must finish the Meme sent by Scarlett.
I must also remember to write Seamus with the details of my blog so he can help me add to my side lines.

I must remember to write. Something. Oddly, I feel the need to weep.

It's going to rain tomorrow. Maybe I can do it then.

Deer Season

2007-10-01T13:55:00.001-04:00

The summer has been very long with very little rain. It’s the beginning of autumn and we’re still seeing temperatures in the high 80s.

The doe have been coming in too close to the house. My chrysanthemums are half eaten. The squirrels have been cutting the acorns too early. There is very little meat in the nuts that do fall to the ground so without the mast, the doe will starve. We are already seeing their rib cages.

So it begins. We haven’t done it for years because food was plentiful.

We bought one hundred pounds of shell corn. Spreading it on the ground below the house, the deer race to be the first to eat. I’m going to have to find a couple of bushels of "deer apples" to feed them. This will go on and on until the spring sprouts green leaves for them to nibble.

I can’t stand to see anything go hungry.

Welcome To West Virginia

2007-09-23T15:12:00.000-04:00

Husband and I have always enjoyed the Gauley Festival. It is held every year the third weekend of September. At this time of year the Corp of Engineers release the water from Summersville Lake for winter and flood the Gauley River. Rafters and kayakers travel from all over the world to this weeklong event which culminates on Saturday night with a huge festival. All of the sport related venders are there. There is food and beer and music and usually (I mean this with all sincerity) great company.

He goes for the great deals in sports equipment and I go for the window-shopping. (Imagine buff, muscular, very tan men all pumped up from a day of paddling on the river. I tell you it is rugged man heaven.) I especially enjoy listening to the Germans and the Italians telling tales of rivers they’ve run in their own countries. One year there was an Australian Olympian and we had the loveliest discussion.

This year was different.

First of all, there were no foreigners.

Secondly, the place of full of snide, duplicitous, self-centered, ungracious, spoiled to the hilt, loudmouthed kayaking wannabees.

These people did not care what they trashed or who. They treated the venders rudely. They were very disrespectful to the women from the local 4-H club who provided them with hearty, delicious home made food. They dumped trash. They spoke with disdain about their accommodations. I watched as one loudmouth dropped the “F” bomb as loudly as he could in a conversation with another loudmouth who evidently thinks that God has damned everything in sight. A five-year-old was hanging on every word.

I am very glad that the Germans and the Italians didn’t make it.

After being jostled and spoken too rudely for the last time, we left.

I have only one more comment about the whole miserable event.

Welcome to West Virginia. Spend your money and get the hell out.

Happy Anniversary

2007-09-17T19:44:00.000-04:00

It occurred to me today that I have been posting on this blog for a year.

I guess congratulations are in order. I am patting myself on the back.

I have a few things I am mulling around in my head. Summer travels are about done, just one more festival and then I can compile pictures and post again. Right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in putting up food for the harsh winter ahead. I'm gleaning the last of my herbs before I bring the perennials inside. I've found they taste better if frozen.

My little tomato plant is still producing. I have had over 100 tomatoes from it this summer. She is such a brave and productive soul. I will hate it when I've picked the last.

My freezer is bulging. I have been freezing tomatoes, green beans, corn and peppers. Meats are on sale now, and I've been stocking up. If the Farmer's Almanac is correct, I predict a lot of snow days, with Dan working from home and me cooking up a storm.

Taking stock:
One Turkey
One 10 lb. chicken
About 3 lbs of cut up chicken
Frozen fish
Ground chuck
Ground round
One roast beef
One Pork Tenderloin
One package of Beef tenderloin
Two packages of home made stuffed peppers
Meat Balls
Italian Sweet Sausage
Twenty five quarts of frozen tomatoes
Five quarts of frozen red and green peppers
Two quarts of frozen hot banana peppers
Ten quarts of Silver Queen corn
Fifteen quarts of frozen green beans
Various on sale Broccoli, Cauliflower, Peas, Brussel Sprouts...etc.
Six pints of home made pickles. (Bread and Butter)

If the snows or the terrorist do come, we'll eat like kings. If the snows and the terrorists take a holiday, I'll donate to the homeless shelter in the spring.

I have to tell you all about the Mothman Festival, the Gauley Festival, the trip to Florida.

More to come, I promise.

Lest We Forget

2007-09-11T13:52:00.001-04:00

God Bless America

Bucolic

2007-09-08T19:07:00.000-04:00

Photo credit Rick Lee of Charleston WV

http://rickleephoto.blogspot.com/

Used with permission

Stay with me a while, he asked
and a while turned into days
then years.
Now most mornings
he wakes with dread
knowing taxes will
probably take the homestead
But up from the kitchen
waft scents so soothing.
There’s coffee and bacon and freshly
made bread.
He dresses and notices
how the sun warms the
metal roof over his head –
over their heads –
They eat without speaking.
He rises – doesn’t clearing.
The sun is still rising as
he walks to the back door
and allows the screen to slam
satisfactorily behind him.
She stands in the daylight – her
hand on the screen
"Stay with me a while."
He doesn’t look back.
She didn’t speak the words.
The scent of the lilacs beside the
back door remind her that there
is work to be done.
….and the day begins.

Road Trip

2007-08-29T17:16:00.000-04:00

We will be embarking on an adventure for the next several days. Yes, the Noltes are taking a road trip.

Hopefully, I will come back refreshed and have lots of pictures!

Full Moon - Sunday Night

2007-08-26T20:59:00.001-04:00

It's been a hell of a day.

First, Dan decided to mow the lawn this morning while it was cool and upset a hornet's nest. He was stung first, then Snappy. We got his swelling under control, but the dog was inconsollable. She limped. She slept. She held her little leg up in agony.

Dan is fine. Tonight, the dog is fine. Everything is okay, except she's having a problem with her bowl movements and has started passing blood.

I know, this is gross. But I'm worried about her, until he tells me that she ate almost an entire can of peanuts last night. I would be passing blood after that. We'll see what the morning brings and I'll call the vet if need be.

The moon is absolutely brilliant tonight. It's dark earlier than usual, but that moon!

Tomorrow school starts around here. Kids will be gone all day and a frenzy on the hill in the afternoon. I hate to see summer end.

The boys are still filming their movie. So the girls came up tonight for a little TLC. I love those women. They talk but they even listen better. They are my favorite people on earth.

Night all. I'm tired.

What Kind Of Sandwich Are You?

2007-08-25T13:47:00.000-04:00

You Are a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

You life your life in a free form, artistic style.
You are incredibly creative and at times, quite messy.
Deep down, you are a kid at heart. And you aren't afraid to express it.

Your best friend: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Club Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

WoooHooo! We're Number One!!!

2007-08-21T19:48:00.000-04:00

Thank GOD, Memsahibe is homeschooling.

West Virginia Tops Party School List
By VICKI SMITH,
AP
Posted: 2007-08-21 14:37:00
Filed Under: Nation News
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. (Aug. 20) - To the disappointment of school administrators - and the pride of some students - West Virginia University is No. 1 on The Princeton's Review's annual list of the top 20 party schools.

The school has made the list seven times in the past 15 years, despite efforts to curb underage drinking and rowdy behavior.

But not since 1997 have the Mountaineers taken the top spot. Last year, WVU was No. 3, bested by the University of Texas at Austin and Penn State, both of which remain in the top 10 this year.

Senior Katie O'Hara, 22, said WVU is No. 1 because "no matter what kind of party you want it's here - bars, fraternities, house parties. ... If you want to take shots all night, there's a bar; no matter what you want to do, it's there."

Still, O'Hara said her friends "know how to manage their time. They know when to party and when not to," which wouldn't explain the school's No. 1 ranking in the category of Their Students (Almost) Never Study.

The rankings are contained in the 2008 edition of "The Best 366 Colleges," which is going on sale Tuesday and is based on a survey of 120,000 college students at those schools, mostly during the 2006-07 school year.

No. 2 on the party list was the University of Mississippi, followed by the UT-Austin, the University of Florida and the University of Georgia.

West Virginia's No. 1 ranking is just speculation, said West Virginia sophomore Stuart Sauer.

"I think there's no way to measure that," said Sauer, 20, of Richmond, Va. "Every school's a party school."

Incoming WVU President Mike Garrison focused on the positive rather than the rankings, saying the students he met over the weekend and on the first day of classes Monday are more concerned with their futures "and with the great year we have ahead" than with partying.

"I'm focused on the way this university changes people's lives, the research that we do and the service we provide to the state of West Virginia," said Garrison, who officially replaces David C. Hardesty Jr. on Sept. 1. "This is a special place, and the whole state is proud of it."

The Princeton Review says the guide to the best schools is intended to help applicants who can't visit every school in person.

Guide author Robert Franek said each of the 366 schools "is a 'best' when it comes to academics.

"But as anyone visiting colleges can attest, their campus cultures and offerings differ greatly," he said. "It's all about the fit."

At the other end of the partying spectrum is Brigham Young University, claiming the top spot in the "Stone Cold Sober" category for the 10th straight year.

The book has 62 categories in all, including: Best Campus Food, Virginia Tech; Most Beautiful Campus, Sweet Briar (Va.); Dorms Like Palaces, Smith College (Mass.); and Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians, Hampshire College (Mass).

This year, WVU finishes among the Top 10 in several other categories: No. 4 in Students Pack the Stadiums; No. 5 for Best College Library; No. 6 for Lots of Beer; No. 7 for Lots of Hard Liquor; and No. 8 for Best College Newspaper.

The Princeton Review, which is not affiliated with Princeton University, is a New York company known for test preparation courses, educational services and books. It published its first survey findings in August 1992.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2007-08-21 09:25:01

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Droughts End

2007-08-16T20:04:00.001-04:00

We have been in a drought all summer
now,
the rains don't want to stop.

It's gorgeous, the lightening and thunder
the winds
blow everything to hell and back

But for now, just for now...
it's wet
it's windy
and it smells of rain.

Dog, What a Day!

2007-08-14T19:55:00.000-04:00

I read once: To give an animal human attributes is dangerous.

Dan has been after me for weeks to take Snap somewhere to have her nails clipped. They had grown uncomfortably long and were affecting her step. We’d tried many times to do it ourselves, but she became defensive and snapped at us. (Hence the name) There are no dog-groomers I trust around here so I made an appointment with the vet.

Logistically, every move had to be thought out very carefully. First of all Snappy does not like to ride in the car. She is perfectly happy being the master of her own domain and riding in the car puts her off. She gets carsick.

Since I was alone, I needed to plan this out perfectly. I moved the truck to the far end of the drive. I brought the Subaru closest to the house. I put a sheet on the passenger seat, my handbag in the floor, the leash on the floor, opened the windows and left the keys in the driver’s seat.

Snappy needed to go out to pee. Perfect! Then she wanted to chase birds - not so perfect. I walked out and caught her tie out rope and guided her to the front porch. “Jump up.” She did. I removed her tether and telling her what a “Good Girl” she is, wrestled sixty pounds of “I don’t like getting in the car” into it.

I kept my hand on her through every country road turn. I talked to her constantly. She could not stop panting or drooling.

We arrived at the Vet’s office five minutes ahead of schedule. I opened my door, grabbed her leash and said, “Come on, baby.” She jumped out, confused by the strip mall parking and the noise and went right into the office. There was a lady with a dog, and a woman with a cat and two ‘Special Ed’ kids that could not talk but loved a new ‘dawg’ to pet. Snappy was already distressed after the drive. I hated keeping her from the hands of those loving children, but I was afraid she would bite them.

It was our turn into the inner offices. I picked all sixty pounds of “I don’t want to stand on that slicky stainless steel table” and put her there. The vet started by lifting her hind leg and snipping at her back claws. Snappy turned around and bared her teeth.

“Ah,” says he. “We’re going to have to give this one a little Mellow Yellow.”

What about her owner?

A quick shot, a lift down and he leaves me – in the room he put my sixteen year old cat to sleep in with a dog that can’t stop panting and pleading with me to “Get me out of here!”.

The shot took affect in ten minutes. She even stopped panting and lay down to sleep on the floor. I got her up, lifted all sixty pounds of “I don’t want to go back on that damn table!” and motioned to the vet she was ready.

He brought the office girl in with him. It’s a good thing.

It took both of us to restrain my poor little scared little sixty-pound mound of anxiety to immobility while he clipped her toenails.

He had to muzzle her.

It broke my heart.

After it was done, I got her off the table, paid the bill, got her out of the office, picked her up from a prone position in the parking lot because “I don’t want to get into that damn car again!” and into the car.

I drove her home where she hopped out of the car and headed straight for the front door. Inside, she absolutely collapsed. I watched her for four hours, making sure she was breathing.

Tonight, she is fine, bright eyed and ready to play.

Drugs scare me, but I have a massive doggy headache, and I’m wondering if the vet has anymore “mellow yellow”. I could use an injection….

…or a good stiff drink.

Pay Attention!

2007-08-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

The boys stopped by tonight to return a car
happily tired and talking about
a project they are working on
together

I fed them dinner, actually split a
dinner for two into a dinner for
four

more about loves and fishes
later

It came time for them to leave
and they walked to the car
still excited

When I noticed the woman across the
street coming back from a walk with
her new born boy

We stood there with our gray eyes
and our gray hair waving the boys
goodbye

When the baby started to squall
as they are often do
mamma was on her cell phone

I felt the sudden urge to scream to her
“Pay attention!”
this is fleeting

Look at us!
See how far it goes!
Pay attention!

I can still hear the baby crying.

Neighborhood Watch

2007-08-11T09:19:00.001-04:00

Peskipiksi Persternomi

2007-08-05T19:51:00.000-04:00

The Cornish Pixies are out tonight and I want to play.

I can see them, there at the edge of the woods. They flitter around the fawns feet and jump to tickle their noses. The doe are used to it and one could actually say they smile.

I trip down the stairs of the back deck and dance across the lawn in bare feet. My night gown and robe dragging in the dew. A spell has been cast on me by my dear Kate and I must follow it’s capture.

The Cornish Pixies laugh at me. Waving, they leave colorful trails into the darkness of the trees. The forest is heavy with fog but I catch glimpses of light as I move deeper.

Down below the house, there is a small fire burning. Tiny figures giggle and dance around it, some carry acorn caps filled with what I would think is mead. More color trails fly in toward the fire and someone starts playing a mini-fiddle and drum. Others dance and drink and there is much laughter.

Being quite large and not wanting to cause harm, I stay a bit away and lay my head down in the dew to watch the festivities. The colors, light and music charm me.

Peskipiksi Persternomi to everyone. It’s MAGIC!

Thank you Scarlett

2007-08-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

It Should Have Been Scout

2007-08-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

Your first name was Angel
because of the white patches
on your side
the little girls said it was
because your wings fell off

I named you Scout
after the little girl in
“To Kill a Mockingbird”
I saw you as so grand
so full of grace…

He started calling you
Snappy
because of your actions
and it stuck
You answered to it

Now you guard me
(often too much)
but cuddle with me
when he is gone
Your butt against my leg

And you bark at fears
imagined or real
and I throw the ball
every day at three
or is it four?

The kids think I’m mad
because I ask you- your opinion
on the drapes
But I’m sane enough to realize
The look you give me

…and when you go
as all pets must
and you are a pet
even though I ask your opinion
my heart will be broken.

Anxiety

2007-07-25T20:05:00.000-04:00

My parents are coming back.

My parents decided to move to Alabama a couple of years ago. After almost seventy years in one state, how they could leave was beyond me, but it was their decision.

They are making a trip home. They will be here tomorrow around noon and spend the night. My sister is driving. I can’t wait to see them!!

I have cleaned and scrubbed and vacuumed and disinfected until my fingers are bleeding. I so want them to be comfortable. Linens are ready, towels folded and bathrooms disinfected.

Then the dog decides for the last two nights she’s going to SHIT in the middle of the living room floor.

I’ve told her she’s a bad dog. She drops her head below the sofa and looks at the mess with her tail wagging….”Did I do THAT?”

I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed and hit everything with vinegar. She appears offended. I’m appalled.

Now? She has to do this NOW?

Maybe she is picking up on my anxiety. Maybe she realizes she has to keep me busy.

Maybe she just decided to shit in the house and I’m about to kill her?

We’ll see how tonight goes. If she isn’t good, I’ll sick Grandma on her.

Blue and I are Proud!

2007-07-17T08:46:00.001-04:00

I won first place in the Shameless Lions Writing Circle competition.
I am speechless!

AMOS

2007-07-14T14:45:00.000-04:00

Years ago, a church we no longer attend implemented an automated prayer request service named Amos.

Amos, who sounded like a very respectable church elder, would call at the most inappropriate times during the day – sometimes three times a day – to announce that someone has requested prayer for this or that. It was amazingly odd to have the church call us using a computer.

No matter what scale of chaos we were in, when the phone rang we stopped what we were frantically doing to answer. There would always be a pause and then…

“AMOS! From the church! So and so has requested your prayers for a new car!” or “AMOS! From the church! Your prayers are requested for so and so because they have a hang nail!”

Did I mention we no longer attend this church? It was a snit I was in years ago when I called them to let them know that husband’s father had died. They immediately asked for a donation and then sent (via the mail) a book on how to grieve. Something inside me went very, very cold. It hasn’t warmed up yet, and AMOS was getting on my last nerve.

I would have called the church and requested that I be removed from the list, but I have a feeling there is a special place in hell for people that do that.

Today the phone rang and expecting one of the kids, I answered. “AMOS! From the church!” he started. I always feel guilty for swearing when I hear his voice. I imagine they have swear detectors and that after I hang up, AMOS calls everyone else in church and tells them what I said. Today I listened.

“Years ago we implemented AMOS for prayer requests. The church has decided to do a survey to see if we will continue this service.” My ears perked up.

“If you would like to continue getting calls from AMOS, please push one on your number pad.”

There was an extremely long pause. I could hear AMOS tapping his fingers.

“If you would like to DISCONTINUE getting calls from AMOS, please (sniff – sniff) press (deep sigh) two on your number pad.”

I pressed two.

I’m sure everyone will hear about it.

An Appointment With God

2007-07-11T20:32:00.000-04:00

I reached the pinnacle with questions in hand
most of them wondering how to save man.
But I had an important conversation to discuss...
Remembering with respect that I must not cuss!

The appointment was scheduled.
I was a bit late.
I was a bit tardy.
The terrain cut my gait.

Breathless and speechless
I arrived in a panic.
I hope he’d not left me
perhaps I was manic.

The view was stupendous.
My eyes were amazed.
To see this tremendous
place in my gaze.

As the beauty sank in
and I started to breathe
I wondered where God was
…I hope He’s not peeved.

I have many questions
to bring him to task.
There are answers much needed
I just had to ask.

If He’s still alive?
Has He given up?
Are we alone in this world
All fucked up?

I sat there and gazed
as the questions went round
and it suddenly dawned
on me with great abound.

I could ask and ask
all these questions I have...
Or I could look around me
and see what we have.

God doesn’t do interviews
He doesn’t play games
If you want to see him
you have to remain...

One of the observant
One of the true
God gives this whole world
To us.... to you

So appreciate what you have
Peel the film from your eyes
God gives us grace
And the ability to thrive.

Save your questions for Him
Or ask them in prayer
He’ll answer in time
He’s got time and He’s there

So pause if you can
Take a breath and believe
The troubles won’t stop
But God doesn’t leave.

Independance Day

2007-07-03T18:49:00.000-04:00

I have a feeling that Thomas Jefferson, if he saw what was happening now, would look over his shoulder, grab his gun and say: "Come on boys. This is a mess. Let's go somewhere we can be free."

Read the words. We The People!!!

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

This Blog Site is Rated "G"

2007-06-29T11:24:00.000-04:00

...I really must learn to swear more. I wonder if this thing is correct. I know I've posted at least one "shit".

Blue

2007-06-25T20:34:00.000-04:00

A DELIGHTFULLY deep Irishman living in Paris has given me the assignment of shortening my rather lengthy prose about my adopted Lion, Blue. I hope I have done something of interest.

I love my Blue. Even if he gets into the freezer after I've gone to bed and eats the Pistatio Ice Cream.

I find him asleep in my chair, feet waving in the air, his mane splayed over the crimson pillows.

Note to self: Get more bags for the vaccum.

Blue

I named you Blue - My Blue
and you were sensitive and kind

You named me Yellow, Your Yellow
and we shared a sort of mind

We shared stories
..and a life

Until it had to end
..but you are my Blue

My soul mate
my confidant and friend

So when I go
I beg you

Please don't continue
to eat my tomatoes

And please keep the fur
out of the freezer.

2007-06-25T20:28:00.000-04:00

This is my post for a competition Inner Minx was running on her blog. I didn't win, but I thought I nailed the painting perfectly. So many dark thoughts were posted, makes me worry about the mind set of people these days. Mine was one of the darkest.

Adjustment

They told her she would have to go through a period of adjustment.

There are exactly three hundred and sixteen tiles in the ceiling. The neighbor comes home at exactly 6:14 in the evening. Their dog barks fourteen times in the night.

She sighed and rolled over to his side of the bed, reaching for something familiar, to find only a pillow – a new pillow. His closets were bare. She’d given away every article of clothing he’d owned. She’d burned his underwear in a fit of rage and thrown out his toothbrush and his razor. She’d broken half the dishes.

There were days when she didn’t leave the house. Friends would call with concern. “I’m FINE!” she would tell them as she crawled on her hands and knees to make sure that nothing of him was in the house. “He’s dead. I’m fine.” And then she would find herself sitting in the middle of a darkened hall weeping.

He’d always had a penchant for blondes.

Mr. Carl Bruinheld had come home early from work to find her husband in the throws of passion with Mrs. Carl Bruinheld. The police report said he had removed the revolver from the dresser and shot them both before they could get dressed and bolt. He shot the pretty Mrs. Bruinheld in the face. He chose to cripple her husband before he finally finished him off.

She admired the man.

Now she paces the house through the night. Rage does not keep easy company. It robs one of sleep and keeps one motivated to move like a caged tiger.

At dawn, she can be seen in the window as the street lamps go out. She seems to be staring at something -searching -a cold cup of coffee in her hand.

Perhaps she is looking for adjustment?

Stop the Car! I Have Four Bars!!

2007-06-18T19:50:00.000-04:00

Nothing in this world can be as relaxing and pristine as driving through the mountains of West Virginia. Soft music rises from the stereo as you take time to reflect through the curves. We will often spot a deer or a bear. We take side roads and walk the trails trying to identify the flora and fauna.

This past Saturday was kind of like that. Except that Mouthy- Sister – In –Law was in the back seat.

Mozart was playing. I was becoming one with the music and the scenery.

"Stop the car! I have four bars!!"

"Huh?" I’d felt like someone had assaulted my ears and thrown cold water on an otherwise pleasant trip.

"If you could please stop! I have a message and FINALLY in all of this freaking wilderness I have four bars!"

I dropped my chin and looked at my husband. He’s the reason I have this sister-in law. My eyes said, "Keep driving, baby."

"I’ll lose my bars!" Came the whine from the back.

Knowing that there was no immediate family emergency she should be concerned about, and believe me, she would have informed us of the fact upon entering the car, I turned around and asked for the phone.

"Gimme that damn phone."

Timidly she handed it to me.

I rolled down my window, grabbed the cell between my forefinger and my thumb and draped my hand out the window.

"Drive."

Husband gripped the wheel. I caught him glancing as his brother through the rear view mirror.The three of us were in consensus.

Every so often there would be a mumbled plea from the back seat. "Could I please have my cell back?"

I wouldn’t even turn around. I could see through the side mirror as I let my grasp loosen and the phone would dangle recklessly between finger and thumb.

"Would you please turn up Mozart?"

…and through the country-side we glided.

Watch Out Starbucks!

2007-06-07T12:21:00.000-04:00

The local snow cone store is selling really, really strong coffee.

I think.

Medical Power of Attorney

2007-06-05T18:42:00.000-04:00

Husband came home from the latest round of medical tests with two sheets of paper.

“Would you read these and make sense of them for me? I can’t concentrate on them right now.”

“What are they?”

“They are Medical Power of Attorneys.”

Oh hell.

I’ve hit that stage of life. The forms seem simple enough. If I am incapacitated and can’t make any decisions about my living organism, then someone else gets to decide my fate. Given the recent mess our health care is in, I guess it is prudent. Except:

“Mr. Nolte, we would like to discuss with you your wife’s condition.”

“Pull the plug.”

Mr. Nolte, there isn’t any plug. We wanted to let you know what’s going on…”

“God. Please! Do it now! Pull the plug!”

“But sir, we are just cleaning her teeth. We wanted to speak with you about her further appoint…”

“Did you not hear me?? Pull the plug now, for pity sakes. Don’t let her suffer anymore than she has too.”

“But sir, it’s just a teeth cleaning.”

“I don’t care! Pull the plug! Do it now!”

I think these forms are going in the shredder.

Tagged!

2007-05-26T09:35:00.000-04:00

Good heavens I have been tagged.

The Reluctant Memsahib < http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com/> has tagged me because - 1) she is incredibly nosey and - 2) she has nothing better to do what with moving her entire farm from the foot of Mt. Kilimanjaro (including Mango Trees, children, various cats and dogs) to an outpost somewhere in Africa. Her live journal is one of the most fascinating reads I have found online. If you get a chance to check it out, you will be hooked.

Now, back to business. Because she is incredibly nosey, I must divulge eight things you do not know about me. A difficult task, to say the least! But I will try.

1)I do not like chocolate. I used to like chocolate but for some reason now I don’t.

2)I once helped send a sexual predator to prison for 6 years. I am told that my testimony was most important and the State of California is indebted to me. I wonder if that means Disney Land?

3)I met my husband while I was singing in an after hours club. That’s right. I was one of those.

4)I am not really a blonde.

5)I am a door slammer. Once, after a particularly difficult day with two small children, husband came home and said just the most perfectly wrong thing. I stomped back to our bedroom and slammed the door so hard that the facing, door and frame fell into the hall. That was the most satisfying slam of my life.

6)I listen more than I talk. (I think)

7)I have personally helped raise at least 8 litters of raccoons. In one of the litters, there was a blind albino female. She came back to us for at least 3 years before she disappeared.

8)I am one of the most computer illiterate people on the face of the earth.

9)Oh! I’m bad at math.

I hope that you have been enlightened. Safe journey Mem! I’m waiting on the other side of the earth to read about your travels.

(OH! If you are reading this consider yourself tagged!)

The Shameless Lions Writing Circle: The Members Of The Circle

2007-05-24T11:32:00.000-04:00

The Shameless Lions Writing Circle: The Members Of The Circle

My Shameless Lion

2007-05-24T09:33:00.001-04:00

I have made my choice and I am looking forward to the papers being signed sealed and delivered. I will be writing about my beloved "BLUE" shortly. I must first make sure that the steaks are thawed.

If you would like a Shameless Lion to adopt as your own, please go here.

http://shamelesswords.blogspot.com/

Be reminded that you must write about your new family member.

As promised:

Meeting Blue

She first saw him standing rigidly in the square. She had to remember to breathe. He was magnificent! Her feet took life of their own and moved the rest of her to the bench beside him where she sat, transfixed.

“You are absolutely gorgeous.” She said under her breath.

“Of course.” He whispered back.

“I’ve lost what little mind I had left!”

She put her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes tightly shut trying to regain her sanity.

“But you said I was gorgeous. I had to respond.”

She closed her eyes again and then put her thumbs in her ears.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“No.”

“Then why does your face look funny?”

She unplugged her ears, opened her eyes and forcibly pulled her hands from her face. There stood the Lion in all of his magnificence. His body was sky blue with all of the power and grace of a lion, yet blue was his most outstanding color. His face burnt orange, as if he had been facing the sun too long. It was his body’s markings that stood out so remarkably. The Northern Hemisphere covered part of his rump, South America covered his belly and his inner leg. The other geographical markings spotted his shoulders and mane.

“I thought I was losing it.”

“You’re not losing it. It’s just been so long since I’ve had someone to talk too…”

She stood from the bench and circled the lion, gazing at him from every angle. She wanted to reach out her hand to touch him, but stopped. She told him her name. “What do you call yourself?”

“My name is Blue.”

“Nice to meet you Blue.”

They talked the day away and as the sun set, she promised to return. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into years. Every day she came to visit. They talked about politics and religion. They talked about life and death. She read to him short stories. He recited poetry to her from memory. Nothing was ever dull when they were together.

As the years passed, her step became a little slower. She wasn’t as tall as she was when she was young and her hair turned silver. He continued to be radiant. One day she didn’t show up. Blue waited and watched as the sun moved across the sky. As it set, he felt an incredible sadness.

“Recite to me your favorite poem.”

The voice was all around him and he knew she no longer existed on this plane.

With a single tear forming in his stone eye he began.

Did I Say That?

2007-05-17T18:56:00.000-04:00

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth.

I grew up in the early 60’s and 70’s and felt the comfort of home and friends. I knew my boundaries, respected my elders and always remained respectful.

Today was an eye-opener for me. Husband stayed home today from work, a minor medical procedure needed to be done and he didn’t feel like driving in the other direction for an hour and coming home early to drive in the OTHER direction for 45 minutes.

We’d planned a few stops on the way to said procedure. About the time we were to leave I was on the computer reading the blogs I frequent on a daily basis.

“Are you ready to go?”

“No. Wait a minute.”

“Why?”

“Well there is this wonderful woman in Africa I have to respond too. I have a solution to her problem.” http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com/

His eyes rolled up in the back of his head.

I was wondering if I actually just said that entire sentence out loud.

“Then I have to respond to that beautifully witty woman in Great Britan.”http://innerminx.blogspot.com/

Now his eyes widened. Need I reiterate he was having a medical procedure?

“Then I have to write my friends in Canada, Chicago, Maryland and New York. http://anna-pendragon.blogspot.com/ -http://cappuccinoheights.blogspot.com/- http://hudson-chronicles.blogspot.com/ It’ll just take a second. After I check on my friend in Indonesia -http://unguarded--utterance.blogspot.com/ and make sure that my Muslem friend in England http://www.write-now.co.uk/ is still posting.”

Then there is an old friend of mine that I check on frequently: http://web.mac.com/dorlando/iWeb/dominicorlando.com/Blog/Blog.html

He went out to the front porch to think about it.

I was thinking too.

“Did I, a woman who lives in Appalachia – USA, just say I had to give advice to a woman in Africa?”

This internet is truly an amazing thing.

Hallmark Thanks You AnnMarie

2007-05-13T19:47:00.000-04:00

I have always been a proud West Virginian, however, when I think about it.

The memorial now known as Mothers Day was founded by Anna Jarvis in tribute to her mother, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis. The first fully organized Mothers Day program was held at the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, Taylor County, West Virginia, on May 10, 1908. The honored mother had already laid the foundation for such a day in the last fifty years of her life.

Ann Marie Reeves came to West Virginia at age twelve when her father, the Rev. Josiah W. Reeves, a Methodist minister, was transferred from Culpepper Co., Virginia to Philippi in Barbour County. Seven years later, in 1850, at the age of seventeen, Ann Marie married Granville E. Jarvis, son of a Baptist minister. The couple lived in Philippi for a short time and then moved to Webster in Taylor County where Granville began his career as a merchant.

Ann was the mother of eleven children, but only four lived to adulthood. In spite of the large family and the tragedies that occurred, Mrs. Jarvis was active in church and civic affairs. Most remarkable was the work she did to combat poor health and sanitation conditions that existed in Webster and in many other neighborhoods, and which attributed to the high mortality rate of children. After eight years of marriage, at the age of twenty-six, the young housewife and mother sprang into action to combat these conditions and called on all women in Webster, Philippi, Pruntytown, Fetterman and Grafton to meet at at local churches where she organized clubs, known as Mothers Day Work Clubs. She called on her brother, Dr. James Edmund Reeves and Dr. Amos Payne of Pruntytown to advise and lecture her organizations. These two eminent physicians charted the tasks for the clubs to undertake. Members were assigned certain duties to perform in a certain length of time, and their work was inspected by the two doctors and nurses from surrounding communities. The clubs furnished women to care for families with tubercular mothers, medicine was provided for the indigent, and milk for children was inspected. The clubs were honored for successfully carrying out their plans and solving a local community problem.

In 1861, another need for the Mothers Day Work Clubs was pending. After both Lee and McClellan gave orders to hold the Grafton railroad terminus at all costs, much of Taylor County, including the community of Webster, soon became an armed camp of both Union and Confederates. Mrs. Jarvis quickly sensed possible disruption in the clubs and called an urgent meeting, The group heard Mrs. Jarvis objectives: "To make a sworn-to agreement between members that friendship and good will should obtain in the clubs for the duration and aftermath of the war. That all efforts to divide the churches and lodges should not only be frowned upon but prevented."

When an epidemic of typhoid fever and measles broke out among the military personnel, Mrs. Jarvis and her Mothers Day Work Clubs were called upon for help. Her answer was "You shall have it. .. No mistreatment of any of our members. We are composed of both the Blue and the Gray." The clubs subsequently received the highest commendations from officers and soldiers for the magnificent services rendered the sick soldiers.

After the Civil War, public officials sought a way to alleviate post-war strife, and once more Mrs. Jarvis was called upon to help. She rallied the members of her clubs to meet at the Pruntytown Courthouse, and there they planned a "Mothers Friendship Day" to be held in Pruntytown, the county seat. The members were to invite all soldiers, Blue and Gray, and their families. An immense crowd arrived on the designated day. When the program started, Mrs. Jarvis appeared dressed in gray, and another women appeared dressed in blue. Two teenage girls assembled with the Pruntytown band on the courthouse porch, and a bugler called the crowd to assemble. Mrs. Jarvis explained the purpose of Mothers Friendship Day and asked the band to lead them in singing Way Down South in Dixie. The lady in blue then asked the band to lead her and the audience in singing The Star Spangled Banner. Cheering and laughter followed, the two young girls took the hands of Mrs. Jarvis and the lady in blue and asked them to shake hands and hug each other. They then called on the crowd to do the same thing while band played Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot. By the time the song was over, it seemed that everyone began to weep and shake hands.

In addition to her work with the Mothers Day Work Clubs, Mrs. Jarvis was active in her church. When the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church was completed in 1873, Mrs. Jarvis was on hand to take over as assistant superintendent in the primary department of the church school. For over a quarter of a century, she taught young children and saw many of the children grow into manhood and womanhood and bring their own little ones to her class.

Mrs. Jarvis was not only an exceptional teacher, but also a talented, informed speaker. She lectured many times in well-filled churches on subjects as "The Value of Literature as a Source of Culture and Refinement", "Importance of Supervised Recreational Centers for Boys and Girls", and "The Great Mothers of the Bible".

After the death of her husband, Granville E. Jarvis, in 1902, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis and her daughters, Anna and Lillie, moved to Philadelphia to live with her son, Claude. Mrs. Jarvis died there on May 9, 1905, at the age of 72. She is buried in the beautiful West Laurel Hill Cemetery in Philadelphia. On the day she was laid to rest, the bell of Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton was tolled seventy-two times in her honor.

Carnivorous

2007-05-09T20:22:00.000-04:00

I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have my herbs planted. The day was hot, almost 90, and I headed out to do my shopping. The herbs were fresh off the truck and I caught a real bargain!

There was however the conversation I overheard from the back of the car on my way home.

I could hear the herbs snickering, as they are prone. They were taunting the steaks packed in bags next to them.

“Oh, you will be cooked up and eaten!” laughed the Thyme, Rosemary, Basil and Sage. They couldn’t contain their laughter as the meat seemed to become sullen.

Finally, one of the gorgeous rib-eyes in the pack retorted.

“You don’t think they aren’t going to eat you too, do you?”

“Of course not! She only bought us for our aromas and our fragrant flowers!”

“She makes pesto.”

“WHAT?!”

“She makes pesto and uses thyme in egg dishes and rosemary in chicken. She uses basil in her homemade spaghetti sauce. She even has chives growing that she will probably chop and dice to put on top of fish.”

“Oh NO!” said the herbs.

I stopped the car and they were still trembling.

Yes. There is something very satisfying about having herbs planted this time of year. I’m looking up more recipes.

My Muse Has Taken A Hike!

2007-05-07T19:39:00.000-04:00

My muse has taken a hike.

Please see the above poster picture of her. She’s about three inches tall and truly lovely. I could kill her with my own bare hands.

All I did was become obsessed with my work for a few months. Obsession became disappointment and then aggravation. I understand she got tired of me bitching about it, but she didn’t have to leave me. A simple kick in the shins would have sufficed.

She’s done this before, you know. I caught her riding up I-79 on the back of a Harley, her robes riding perilously high on her thighs, the wind blowing her hair. She was laughing hysterically and hugging the biker around the waist. (At least I think that was what she was doing.)

I had to call the State Police and report a Muse on a motorcycle without a helmet.

She sulked for months.

When she finally came around, she offered me such lovely ideas and joyous praise when I’d finally written something. We shared chocolates and tea in the afternoon. She loved a little toddy in the evening. She in turn offered me the most priceless observations on the world and on life.

Now she’s taken a hike again. Gas prices are outrageous. Do I really have to get in the car and run up I-79 to find her again?

I guess I’ll just leave the window open and hope she pops back like Peter Pan.

Since I haven’t a job to bitch about, I’m sure she will return.

The Grand Adventure!

2007-05-01T20:13:00.000-04:00

Well, I’m off.

After sitting in this house for two weeks with the phone off the hook and my own nerves shot, husband and I are taking in a grand adventure.

We leave in the morning.

We’ve rented a car and are traveling to Baltimore Maryland. We’ll arrive at the Inner Harbor and stay here.

http://marriott.com/hotels/travel/bwish-renaissance-baltimore-harborplace-hotel/

The rooms are outrageous. For the price they should bring me breakfast in bed, scrub my back in the bath, give me a pedicure, do my laundry AND furnish meals. But this is a once in a life time thing.

Did I mention that today is May first? MY MONTH! Woooo hoooo!!!

First my anniversary, then it’s Mother’s Day, topped off at the end of the month with my birthday! The boys call it Mom’s Month.

I’ll be back on Sunday with pictures from our trip!

I’m so excited.

That's the Last of It.

2007-04-19T20:12:00.000-04:00

I’m a bit beat up and bruised. Still a bit scared of my own shadow. But I did it.

There was no safety net, not something to fall back on. There was no cushion.

I went to work today resigned. I really didn’t care. I was beyond caring. I simply woke up at 5:00 am and drank my 2.5 cups of coffee and got dressed and left. The hour and ten-minute drive was uneventful, I however, felt like a man would feel on the way to his own hanging. “What the hell.”

I arrived promptly for the morning teleconference, took the five-minute notes, and shook my head. Another person was resigning, my Email said. Another one bites the dust.

I tackled the MET productivity report, making sure all “I’s” were dotted and all “t’s” were crossed. They are really going to start hammering these Medical Equipment Technicians on their times. Our guys do the best they can do…I hate company buyouts.

With that done, I received the paychecks. Check them off. Get them in the file. Put stamps on the ones that need mailed. Make sure that everyone gets paid, there are five locations. Interruption from a company that wants to know when they are going to get paid.

“What the hell!! I sent those invoices to Corporate a month ago!”

The pressure was building.

I went to the post office to pay mail payroll.

It was a nice morning. I got lost for a while in the sun and the warm breeze.

I am better than this.

I finished up with payroll, filed it in the wicked witch’s office.

I cleaned off my desk, ignoring incoming mail. I made sure that wicked witch’s pay check was on her desk…..Should she ever choose to arrive at work.

I penned a letter of resignation, filled out a time sheet and filled out my own Employee Status Form.

I walked into the second in command office, explained to her that payroll had all been mailed and distributed, the petty cash was $5.00 short, but Eric could explain and that I have had enough. This is my letter of resignation.

She looked at me stunned…”What happened???!!”

“I’m done. I can not take the pressure. I adore you and I really do appreciate my Boss’s professionalism. No one here has made me mad and I’m going to miss them. But I’m outta here.”

“I’ll send you an exit interview via the mail. Here is my home number if you want to talk to me.”

That is the last thing I want to do.

I stepped into the Respiratory Therapists office to say goodbye. They cried. I hugged the women in my office and told them goodbye. One was in shock, the other smiled and yelled, and ‘I’m next!’

I was in my car, trying to leave when I realized that I still had the keys to the office clutched in my fist.

Shit!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the warehouse and as Eric was putting stock away I surprised him. “Give these to Deanna, I can’t go back in there. By the way, I just quit.”

He kept looking at his hand. “Roberta. I’m sorry. Hey..man, I don’t know what to say!”

I drove as fast as I could to get home.

Separations are always difficult. I’m in a better place now financially because I have worked my ass off for the last six months. I’m also smarter and know what I need to do as far as my professional experience.

I’ll never work for a bitch in a hellhole again.

That’s for damn sure.